I upgraded to first class on my flight back to Cleveland late last night--which I really, really needed to do. So the following transcribed conversation is not exactly a complaint. It is merely a report.
Flight Attendant: Would you like a snack?
Me: Sure. What is it?
FA: Cheese, crackers, and fruit.
Me: Is there meat?
Me: No, thanks, then. I don't eat meat.
FA: Are you a toucher?
FA: Some people are OK as long as the meat is not touching the other food.
Me: Never mind. No snack, thanks.
FA: How about just the fruit?
So I ended up with a small fruit plate, cookies, crackers, and--for some reason--a packet of ranch dressing. It could have been worse.